There’s been so much uproar concerning ladies who either ignore dms from men or are entirely rude, or the ones who call out men that send messages to their inbox. Some argue that most women can’t hold a conversation which explains why they would rather ignore a chat or simply give a short reply.
The reason is unknown.
But here is the thing, maybe giving attention to people seeking their time and space is the least of their concern. What if these ladies are not interested and they do not even wish to converse with the person in question? Do we even think of the number of dms they have to reply to, and how tiring it can be for most of them when all they want to do online is chat, enjoy banters and read up on trends?
Why do we feel entitled to another human’s time and space even when they are clearly not interested in sharing their resource with you? Why does their silence or no response cause you worry and lead to an attack on their ability to hold a conversation or not? Why do you think someone who isn’t keen on sharing their space with us will be fine carrying any kind of discourse with you? Do you have an idea how much of her time she will have to spend doing the same, given the numbers of people testing same waters as yours? Now imagine trying to prove a point by being nice to everyone in your dm simply because you’re trying to show that you can hold a conversation, what time then do you have to go about your own life and breathe for you? To please all, a lady would have to ignore her own space just to pacify men’s ego. Just maybe silence in itself is an answer, maybe saying just no or a short answer is good enough. Just maybe, we should consider that no matter how rich your profile is and no matter how hot your drip is, a lady might just not be interested in obliging you her time, neither does she owe you an explanation as to why she can’t give her time. There are so many “maybes” to consider. Just maybe, your timing was wrong and they are too tired to follow on with your chat, or they are too focused on other goals that your dm is a distraction, just maybe, there are many of you in her dm and she really doesn’t want to have to ignore her other responsibilities just so she can placate your feelings.
The assumptions are endless.
It is high time we agreed that when we. request for a lady’s time and space, that her silence is good enough for an answer, that a short reply is just as good as a full sentence, and that people really do not owe us their time and space simply because we ask nicely. We ought to understand that no, is a full sentence, that silence in itself is an answer and that our sense of entitlement ends with ourselves only.
People are not tied to our wants and needs, they’re not created to soothe our spirit, and yes, no matter how disappointing people’s response to our request is, it is still their response. They owe us nothing, and we should simply learn to respect their space.
While we constantly seek validation from people and expect them to answer our every question about what we want from them, we must also remember that they have autonomy of self and can decide what and how to spend their resources; that includes their space and time.
We should also put in mind that you’re not the only person making unnecessary demands of their time and space.
And yes, NO is a valid answer.
This story first appeared on medium For more stories you can follow me on medium @adaezenwankwo5
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