TOO MUCH A WOMAN

Too intelligent to be a woman
You  worry I know too much, laugh too much, breathe too much
 Yet I'm the comfort you seek to calm you after the liquor.  
I can't be just too loud, too flashy to be a woman.
The one you want is calm, too soft and too girly to be your dame. 
If I ever show bravery in fearful choices, insisting I want a head,
You whisper and worship at my holy alter in private, but squirm around your friends
That I can't be wifed and owned, yet if I choose to be blond on sex moves, I become a bore whom you can only have to progress your fatherhood, and off you go to whore another, who guides your manliness through her debauchery.

 I can't be all so smart, too smiley and caring
Caring means I'm all just flirty, much so if I give your friends a gratuitous peck.
When i give cold shoulder, stern look and serious face,
You choose the booty call chic to host your legions.
When I aspire you just perspire,
My ambition makes yours expire
Riding hire shouldn't reduce your power.
 Climbing your hills, will require my heels.

It's not my submission you seek, cos you get it.
It's not attention you want, cos I give it.
Not looks of a peacock
Never the calm of a dove
It's the Lordship you seek to wield alone,
The whip you yearn to tear my flesh.
The fear you hope i paint on my face
 And the many dare you wish my heart will never air

I pray you my equality is not to scare
I promise you this queen your kingdom care
I vow my heart is yours to take
I swear your place is just the same
Never lower or lesser in being a man
But better and stronger in having me
Don't make me the subject of your master-doom
I'll forever worship at this love altar

I AM NOT A WRITER

Here is the thing, I’m not a writer. But, you see, the one thing that has not increased in the market yet is the cost of data. It means, gossip is cheaper to get than buying a module of Garri in the market. Don't ask me how.  I just know i can do a billion and one thing just with my data. I can watsapp one Uncle John to raise me small change for lunch and still find time to read what twitter overlords think of "I am for everybody, I belong to no one".  How can you ask my opinion on plagiarism, when the handouts I buy in school doesn't reference any source. My dear, I don't know how that plagiarism thing works too. But i can tell you how i follow some people on twitter who manage to convince me that voting a particular party in the past means I know what's-up and are quick to condemn anyone who outlines the ill of the policies that are hurting the common man. well, you can say I'm not common, after all, i can still afford data to tweet.  don't be vex

Oh, Data feel like the cheapest gift for recession, considering that no one wants to go on a date no more, but we can have virtual sex. don't look at me like that. If we have to go out, it means burning fuel, say you have a movie date, you pay for the tickets, then you buy pop corn and soda, oh, let's say the chic is nice you spend cash just like that. if she were to be a little mean, you will have to worry about take away packs and a little something for her friends or siblings. so you see, Data makes sex easy, cheaper and accessible. that my dear is the awoof from data.

Among the many cheap things my Data can afford me is LIB. you see, you want to stay in touch with your youthful self, one has to keep up with trend and happenings among celebrity because we all aspire to be one someday. though a few will become it by being twitter overlord, while some will get there by being anti-GEJ or pro whatever, a few of us.. well, we just get there by wishing it. so, since we can't pay for DSTV subscription to keep up with the Kardashians, we will follow LIB to know who broke up with who, and who wore what, so when we talk about those fashion and divorce stories with our friends, we will sound posh and well informed, they will think Khloe is our personal friend from the gist we share. never minding that some of us have never seen the interior of a plane before. my dear, its cheap to own a data,data makes you sound intelligent. yes, our young ones don't want to know who won the Cowbellpeadia,, oh, that's so boring. we want to know, who the judge on project fame is, how many people made it to the finals of THE VIOCE, haaa. its not like the Nigerian economy is not bad, its just that you have to know these things, how else can you talk about change, if you don't tune in to Channels once a while and listen to more insult form the spokes person of each party? data is affordable, if you don't see it on channels, just follow the thread on twitter, there will be a hash tag to let you know what burning issue is up, from reading the long thread you can give yourself an ankle sprain by jumping into conclusion. Never minding that these people you defend, don't even care you exist. It’s alright, data price is still constant, cos’ you can avoid going to church on Sunday, twitter ministries is functioning perfectly, you can know the sermon of the day by checking one of your Church member's tweet, if you want a fresh anointing, just follow any of the twitter end time church, they will give a fresh wisdom, that will make this recession feel like a joke. they will speak to your week, command your day and bring forth your month unto greatness. Sunday worship on twitter has never been better. forget that you were in the club all through Saturday night, don't get ticked that, the girl you shagged last night if your fiancée’s sister, a fresh anointing from the tweet has a way of making twitter worship holy. my dear, DATA is still cheap. how else could you have been able to save you offering and transportation fare if twitter doesn't give you a chance to cheaper worship.

my data also affords me a chance to see things i would normally not here or know about, like this competition I’m applying for. i get a chance to write, at least it relieves me of the many worries of Nigeria economic recession and whores. i just type away, talk about politician, curse out rapist and even join any hash tag i may or may not understand. no complaint there. I am not a writer.

RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

I expect nothing short of excellence from myself daily.
Tomorrow was a today, delayed yesterday. 

There was a yesterday when all we thought of was what we will become tomorrow, how we will buy ourselves the finest of cars, further our education, be a better us and all. Yet we all live in a today and never do anything to fulfil the promises we made yesterday.

So here is the catch, you are here now. you have a today, use it. We have no control over tomorrow, don't sweat it. You probably think you need a pay raise before you can start saving or investing, there is no such thing as a raise to save. It's a habit you have  to cultivate, you must culture your mind to do them with what you already earn. If you have not started, even with the pay raise, it will still be hard to save or invest.

Mostimes, lack of discipline makes one spend more even with the pay raise. so start here, right now. for all the times you dreams, have an actionable plan, start with what you have, be who you have always dreamt of today. Take step that leads you closer to your goals, stop waiting for a tomorrow, start you tomorrow today. make everything you do today geared towards your tomorrow

Tomorrow only comes, when we start doing today. if you want to be the greatest dad, mum or best actor, writer, inventor or any great somebody tomorrow, you have to start right here, right now.