That is the best description i can give.
Detached from myself,
I watched the doctors
As they prodded and swabbed.
The nurses, they lingered and hugged.
The social workers, gave pamphlets and cards.
They said it will get easier.
They said i will get through it.
They said one day, it will be a distant memory.
They said i am strong.
But they didn't tell me,
I will beg in my dreams.
I will cry and plead.
Dreams so vivid you can almost taste the blood.
They didn't tell me i will feel him in me,
Years to come, in unwanted places.
They didn't tell me, i will jump at shadows.
I will see atrocities, everywhere i look.
They forgot to tell me,
The next time i am intimate with a man,
I will kick and scream.
I will panic and hyperventilate.
I will cry with my heart.
I will feel the pain in impossible places.
They forgot to tell me i will want the act,
But i will despise it with everything in me.
I will love with a ball of hate stuck in my gut
They all lied.
It never gets easier.
You never get over it.
It never fades away.
Strength feels like a burden.
Every memory feels like you are being torn in two.
From the outside in,
All over again.
Again and again. “
"There is a place in a place in a place;
Where kids are lucky to go to school.
Where majority just roam the streets.
Where kids are hawkers,
Victims to sexual predators.
There is a place in a place in a place;
Where girls are not as lucky about school.
Where rich old men literally buy them off.
Parents have 12 others depending on them,
One way or the other, they all have to get fed.
There is a place in a place in a place;
Where girls are married by 13,
Pregnant by 14,
Divorced by 15.
Life ruined, urine dribbling, and a child to her breast.
Where these same girls will be blamed for getting divorced.
These same girls will be left to fend for themselves.
These "children" now have children to raise.
Who are the leaders of tomorrow?
Half our population is made up of women,
The other half is raised by them.
The vicious cycle continues.
Can we wake up now?”
Where majority just roam the streets.
Where kids are hawkers,
Victims to sexual predators.
There is a place in a place in a place;
Where girls are not as lucky about school.
Where rich old men literally buy them off.
Parents have 12 others depending on them,
One way or the other, they all have to get fed.
There is a place in a place in a place;
Where girls are married by 13,
Pregnant by 14,
Divorced by 15.
Life ruined, urine dribbling, and a child to her breast.
Where these same girls will be blamed for getting divorced.
These same girls will be left to fend for themselves.
These "children" now have children to raise.
Who are the leaders of tomorrow?
Half our population is made up of women,
The other half is raised by them.
The vicious cycle continues.
Can we wake up now?”
