13

13 weren't the no of times my heart has fallen
13 is beyond the no of days we held on to us
13 is the date in the month, when a visitor is termed special
13 was the time when this visitor no longer counts
13, not the layers of mask concealing my pains
13, not the number of time, my heart panted for yours
having hours slow into seconds as I stayed crying,
as the loneliness became my unworthy companion.
It's the name of the period when
memory was a dark veil, rotten in my nailed shame
covering my pain, shielding my hurt.
Forgotten is the label of an era, riled up mentally
13 a moment begging for amnesia.

Emptiness fills me with so much despair
Making hollow this mighty heart fanfare
Swelling the pit of my pain with fear gripped so tight
Ecstatic, horror, crushed soul won't fight
Fallen giant, burnt spirit, lay in fear 
The gap left by unknown nightmare
Shaken voices not recognized despite
my wish and promises of dear.
Energy ebbing away from my broken hardware
Smile not taken in assured measure but fright
It's fast and slow, the push, my valour is loosing her air.

The anxiety knotting the valve of my heart.
This palpitation, beating, knocking constricting my breath.

Dear 13, dulling my mind, please mend my broken spirit,
Embalmed in shame, dying silently,
Lost, in this phase of a moment, exiled into pain.
Shattered in doubt, covered in fear, shoved in a state of emotional chaos
Shrouded in secret, Wallowing, burning, dread my might has lost.
They say time heals, I wish it doesn't exist.
They say time, makes all things alright
I prayed it warped me in time machine.
Where my past was more pleasant
I want the yesterday before 13th
I hope my day can get a pre-13th
Where the door stayed ajar, and love never left.
13 a date that left me in a daze