THE JOURNEY

        

As I danced through life

Basking in the glow of the sun

Beaming in pride and glory

Of the slippery journey I had to stand

But walking it with the gait of a fearless Cat

Not betraying my fractured feelings

I met the ones whose grind it is

To engage my fears

Belabouring me with clog

My heart can't wheel

Telling a tale of fear, unleashing a weary myth

This, too I’ve learnt to subsist

On the same path I’ve met the kind

Not having plenteous fortune

But extravagant in good thought

Gracious in delightful confidence

Sharing grandiose smile

Gifted only by royals

Yet, on this lane, I’ve found comfort

In places where love seem forgotten

Beaten with pride by folks whose humility is masked in servitude

My mornings have been lazed in the warmth of unforgotten strangers

Where nights goodwill have been ransomed with venom of a cherished

A sarcasm my life have come to flatter

Strutting this street I've found fortune

Of good and bad, in kind and cruel

Given in portion, taken in whole

Making my life a conquest stump

In accepting loss, I've had to find

The good and great in all of me.

As I walk this track

I hope I leave, memories of love and glimmer of light

Dispel shadows of pain, and banish shame

Binding wounds, scored in treachery

While mending walls built in fear

Giving hope in place of doubt, offering peace that comforts the grieved.

PRAY

Let me cry till I'm spent

Let them be libation for the many dreams that  died before they had the chance to breathe

Let them suffice for the many times a war was not waged against the forces and words that said impossible

Let me drown with my tears

Painful regret

Of how seconds that became minutes

and minutes that became hours

and hours that became days

and days weeks

and weeks months

and months years

wasted seconds that could have borne great

Joy, growth, change, power,

Maybe some pain, maybe some sorrow

But memories - surely

Yes memories

Let these tears relive the many joyful

Exhume the heart wrenching  

buried alive

Let them all float to the surface

live alongside each other

In the present

While I

Ignore the best I can

Their constant badgering -

Reminders

Of innocence stolen

Of confidences betrayed

Of vengeance dealt

Of love....

Yes love

given, received, shared, denied

let me mourn the lie that marred my first sweet memory of love

That first kiss my sister said could cost me heaven

For I shared that moment and the pleasures of it's 'forbidden' bliss

The brightest of smiles lighting up my face

Then i must cry for the face

That had smiled only moments before my words sliced a heart open

Today let me cry him a river to wash away the pain

And to maybe comfort in some mystical way

My tears will speak truth it had not known

That the only thing worse than not reciprocating love

Is not accepting it as it was given

For love given freely

Though not enough for another

Is always complete in and of itself

Then i shall cry for myself

To accept all that I am

Rock and feather

Muse to one, poison to another

To accept crevices in me and the secrets I wish didn't lurk

Deep spaces where pain, greatness and grief make bedfellows

and fear and faith disagree on the winner of this mortal combat within me

Till my tears roll into my mouth

and I taste in them

A desire for rebirth

Pray Iet me cry

Ulo Inyama

MY NAME IS..

You could be all shades of good, bad and greatness. You could still be all sides of fear, courage and weak. But what you should never be is all forms of other people's label

So many times, we are told who we are and who we should be, ever before we ever have an idea of whom we really are. So many of us will never get a chance to find ourselves by ourselves, because, we have accepted the society's definition of us. Yet, it's conflicting, it's confusing and it’s holds us back from expressing ourselves clearly. We try hard to conform into people's view of us, we struggle to wear their label, so we stay accepted or can be wanted, and find it easy to deny ourselves the one true pleasure of finding who we are and living it. We are so used to living up to other people's standard that we have come to see our true worth as substandard and so we are that guy with no name. Because we are afraid that our own view of ourselves may never be good enough. We worry that whatever we discover of ourselves might be too strong to be ignored and may make us loose the people we desperately look up to for approval, or what we discover of ourselves may push us far ahead of our time, that we worry we may incur the wrath of those we look up to. So, we forget to live, we merely survive. Actually, what we do is float through life daily hanging on to a boat when we can sail a ship. We settle for less, when we can be the best.  Telling ourselves it's the most we can achieve. Whereas, it's just a convenient truth to prevent us from discovering who we really are, helping to express ourselves in our work, deeds and actions. We focus more on being accepted and forgetting to find ourselves, define our name and take chances that can help us soar to greatness.

When people ask what our name is, we turn out answering every other name given to us by people, other than the name we should call ourselves.

 If today someone ask what your name is, pause, reflect on it, choose your answer carefully and tell them that which you would truly want to be known by, then say confidently, my name is Adaeze C Nwankwo (insert your name) and I am a poet( insert what you do).

COUNTING

Counting not the losses that came

Numbering not the nightly cold and blisters

Mentioning not the broken promises and vows

Computing not the days of nays and pains

Including not the shocks and blows

Here are the numerals of light and love

I tabulate good fortunes that came as friends

Including intimacy that binds as family

Enumerating fondness of acquaintance smile

Totalling comfort sweetening my way

The one freedom that liberates me

Those 2 wishes of beautiful dawn and glorious dusk

The 3 spirits of life, love and living

The 4 dreams that make it count

And 5 times i stayed super lucky

I am counting not failures of intentions

But the blessings of pure thought

Remembering not the shunned voices

But the kind sound of truth and believe

Today I am counting my blessings