PRAY

Let me cry till I'm spent

Let them be libation for the many dreams that  died before they had the chance to breathe

Let them suffice for the many times a war was not waged against the forces and words that said impossible

Let me drown with my tears

Painful regret

Of how seconds that became minutes

and minutes that became hours

and hours that became days

and days weeks

and weeks months

and months years

wasted seconds that could have borne great

Joy, growth, change, power,

Maybe some pain, maybe some sorrow

But memories - surely

Yes memories

Let these tears relive the many joyful

Exhume the heart wrenching  

buried alive

Let them all float to the surface

live alongside each other

In the present

While I

Ignore the best I can

Their constant badgering -

Reminders

Of innocence stolen

Of confidences betrayed

Of vengeance dealt

Of love....

Yes love

given, received, shared, denied

let me mourn the lie that marred my first sweet memory of love

That first kiss my sister said could cost me heaven

For I shared that moment and the pleasures of it's 'forbidden' bliss

The brightest of smiles lighting up my face

Then i must cry for the face

That had smiled only moments before my words sliced a heart open

Today let me cry him a river to wash away the pain

And to maybe comfort in some mystical way

My tears will speak truth it had not known

That the only thing worse than not reciprocating love

Is not accepting it as it was given

For love given freely

Though not enough for another

Is always complete in and of itself

Then i shall cry for myself

To accept all that I am

Rock and feather

Muse to one, poison to another

To accept crevices in me and the secrets I wish didn't lurk

Deep spaces where pain, greatness and grief make bedfellows

and fear and faith disagree on the winner of this mortal combat within me

Till my tears roll into my mouth

and I taste in them

A desire for rebirth

Pray Iet me cry

Ulo Inyama