REDEFINING FAILURE

Failure they say can be frustrating, catastrophic, devastating, painful or hard to overcome. After falling or foundering, failure makes us doubt ourselves, question our past success like it is beginners luck and may make it harder for us to attempt at a single thing again.

Writing this piece as the year wound up, is so testing, because, I have had to take stock of the year, look at challenges faced, ask pertinent questions on why I failed and seek answers to what went wrong.

I could blame the world and everyone for one fault or the other, I could point a finger at the economy, the incompetence of vendors, the unprofessional behaviour of workers, lack of deeper knowledge of the said project, over reliance on experts etc. But, the failure will still boil down to me. It was my decision to vet and re-vet because the buck stops on my table. Yet, here I am, refusing to accept that the year was a total failure. There were lessons learnt. What then are the lessons?

I learnt that people most times need to be pushed to do their job. I learnt that, workers hush their problems a lot and find it hard to share. I learnt that, you need to monitor projects and demand accountability. I learnt that, you have to test work ethics, even if they 'contractors' are termed professionals before you commit to them. I learnt that a proper contract must define proper plans for execution, fines for breaching contract in any guise, and reward for excellence. I learnt that, friendship doesn't always translate to trust and honesty in business. I learnt that the ultimate lesson is me accepting my own fault in the failure and making certain it never happens again. I learnt that you can start again.

So, like everyone else, I am scared of trying again, I am terrified of giving this one more shot, I am so ashamed to admit I don't even want to look back at this mis-step. But you see, some dreams are way bigger than our fears, and our passion larger than our failures. So, I am giving it a shot again. I am re-strategizing, and I am conquering the coming year, and you are welcome to join me in this redefinition party, because you too can redefine your failure rather than let it redefine you..

Here's to redefining our failures.

                                                 WEAR THIS BADGE

I wear this smile to remind me of  the many frown caused by the questions, How dare you, How can you, Who do you think you are? Stay in your lane. You're just a girl.

This gait of mine ,this spring in my feet, this bounce you see,   is the response from many slouched shoulder, forlorn face, downcast heart, broken dreams and chattered vision gotten from  being reminded I'm just a dreamer and little pussy whose only assets are the 2 pieces of oranges on her chest and the cherry hole in between her legs. You're just a woman he says, stay in your lane.

This code you have etched on my psyche has become the very reason, I re-write my story. I retell my future better than my past. It's the fuel burning the fury in me, helping me draw a compass of where I'm headed, all I wanted and the Royalty I have created

This very scar has become my badge of honour, though gotten from the many pains inflicted from your whip and your venomous spittle, is now my gain to inspire others, make them fighters to break down the walls your kind have erected around them.

I will wear this memory no more with regrets, but with the pride only a warrior can muster, knowing the many oceans of tragedy that tried to drown my voice, but ended helping me find my sound.

I shall adorn this badge as an insignia of the countless battle I won, to conquer the thought of you holding me bound to  prisons of my mind. I shall fly this honour like a hero whose victory the world must sing, the crowd must cheer and the audience must applaud.

I will wear this badge so my tale become their hope, my story inspire their resolve and my triumph their waiting crown.

I shall wear this badge so someday you can become you.