MAKING UP

Making up involves two entities; it means two persons may have been at war with each other, it also connotes the act of coming to an agreement for reconciliation. There are however actions that go beyond reconciliation that we do not make effort to look out for. Being silent do not necessarily mean peace in itself, whatever it takes to make peace must be such that parties involved appreciate the essence of such.

Making up must come from within, there should be a conviction of forgiving oneself first before aspiring to forgive others or seek for same. Accepting ones own fault is very key, and delivering a very simple and yet convincing apology will do. We must act to heal all wounds by addressing hurts, swift reparation must be made to reduce the impact of our actions on others. we must seek what will benefit both involved in other not to leave the scene feeling cheated, the win win mentality should in be place, that way everybody wins, the rule should be no winner no vanquish.

How then do we set the tone for making up? We must first seek to understand as to be understood. We must desire to have a true stand of what went wrong and seek to make them right. We must also give everyone time to get over what happened believing time will heal all wounds. We must not allow self importance to rule our deliberation and actions. Rather, we must know that offering a hand of peace is only a step towards peace and not peace in itself.  When we give the other party time to think through what you offer, it helps them see the importance of what you offer, and are willing to shift ground in a sensible way.

Mutual Understanding helps to soften the grounds for settlement. It also helps in speeding up reconciliation. The effort we make should be such that we desire a genuine make up and not a make over sort, we should also make certain to be clear on what we hope to achieve in making up so as to enable the other party consider us in the light of what our ideals are. We must not necessarily forgive in the hope of being forgiven in return; rather, we must forgive because the other party deserves to be forgiven. Our response to other people’s need should not be forceful, it should not be pretentious, It must convey what and how we truly feel. it should be an expression of ourselves, it must be able to represent what truly lies within us. Giving room even for error, but should be easily amended when pointed out.

Making up must be an integral part of our existence. Because our actions are error bound, but subject to change, we must be willing to resolve issues amicably, and where there are frictions, we make amendments. For us to co-exist we must seek a deeper understanding of ourselves, and work to strengthen our relationship, make it worth the while. In other for us to achieve real peace.

this article first appeared on. The Rock newspaper. (youth on track)